11.

I have your writing on the inside of my wrist now. "LyLy" is forever on my body, reminding me that you are always with me. You used to tell me when putting me to sleep and saying goodnight, "Like you, love you, see you in the morning." As I got older we shortened it - "like ya, love ya". Our text threads are peppered with messages of "LyLy" back and forth to one another. Instead of text messages, now I will have to look at my wrist to be reminded of your love for me. I can't believe you're gone. The buzzing of the tattoo needle made me think of all the pain you went though. Getting your writing on my wrist was nothing. A few minutes of zapping to eventually return to an equilibrium. You had so much pain you endured. How did you do it? You are the strongest person I will ever know. How can I even describe it? When you were sick, I would put you to bed and I told you every night, "like you, love you, see you in the morning". What I didn't say was that I was always afraid that it would be the last time I would get to say it to you, and that in the morning you would be gone. One day, that did finally come true. It's still hard to believe. I love you so much mama and I miss you more than I know how to describe. I know it's different, but I am grateful to have your writing on my wrist, to be reminded of all the love you gave me, and all the love I have for you. LyLy mama.